- Napokon sam odvikla Muju od grickanja noktiju! - hvali se Fata svojoj
prijateljici.
- Uh, bona, kako? Daj, reci mi, i ja muku mučim sa Hasom!
- Pa lijepo, natjerala sam ga da nosi cipele!
Imao Mujo dva sina blizanca. I jednom i drugom dade on ime Huso. Ibro ga pita:
- Mujo, zašto si obojicu nazvao Huso?
- Kada dođem kući ja kažem - Huso, pivo! - a kad tamo, dva piva!
Sjedi Mujo na rivi i naglas razmišlja:
- Vidi, vidi, Fata jučer nije ni znala plivati, a danas već roni neprekidno pola
sata.
I opet ucitelj ispituje:
-Ivice,kad je vrijeme branja jabuka??
-Kad susjed nije kod kuće
Idu Mujo i Haso doma s posla, pa kaže Mujo:
- Jedva čekam da dođem doma... da strgnem ženine gačice...
Pita njega Haso:
- Što, tol'ko si napaljen?
- Ma jok... Žuljaju me.
Kupili Mujo i Haso radio i kad su došli kući, uključe ga, a on ne radi. Kada su ga otvorili, sve samo šupljina, paučina i miš izjuri iznutra, a Haso će Muji:
- Drž' ga Mujo, uteče nam pjevač!
Kupio Mujo novog BMW-a i zamoli ga Haso da ga malo provoza. I ide BMW 100 na sat i odjednom stane na semaforu. Pita ga Haso:
- Što je ovo?
- ABS. - odgovori Mujo.
- 'ajd se ti provozaj u mom Fići!
Pristane Mujo. Fićo ide jedva 60 na sat i jedva stade. Pita ga Mujo:
- Što ti je ovo?
- ASS! Ako stane - stane.
Polaže Mujo za lovočuvara i ispitivač ga pita:
- Nabroji nam pet divljih životinja?
Mujo će:
- Vuk, lisica i tri medvjeda.
- Ivice, nabroji nam tri slavne osobe!
- Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, Zidane.
- A jesi li čuo za Mozarta, Picassa...
- Ne učiteljice, ne znam baš sve rezervne igrače!
Poslala mama Ivicu na vikend kod djeda i bake i kaže mu:
- Lijepo se sine ponašaj, a kad ti se bude piškilo, reci djedu da ti se zviždi.
Navečer pred spavanje:
- Djede, meni se zviždi!
- Nemoj sad sine, kasno je. - odgovori djed.
- Ali nemogu trpiti!
- Nemoj, probudit ćeš baku.
- Ali djede, meni se jako zviždi!
- Ajd zviždi, ali djedu na uho.
Rekao Ivici babo da mu kupi pivu, mami da kupi čokoladu, a baki krastavac. No, Ivica je sve pare potrošio na drugove i nije znao što će sad napraviti, ali: onda je našao flašu piva i popišao se u nju. Zatim je našao omot od čokolade i posrao se u nju. Umjesto krastavca, odrezao je čunu i obojio ju u zeleno. Došao je kući, a babo mu kaže:
- Pivo je dobro!
- Čokolada je dobra samo zato što je od kave! - kaže mama.
- I krastavac je dobar, samo je žilav! - kaže baka.
Isao djed kod proroka i prorok mu kaze da ce on biti kriv za smrt milijune ljudi,
i vraca se djed kuci i vidi djecaka kako se utapa spasi on njeka kad odjednom dodje njegova mama i kaze ADOLFE ziv si.
Ha ha ha
Pump it
Ha ha ha
And pump it (louder) [4x]
Turn up the radio
Blast your stereo
Right
Niggas wanna hate on us (who)
Niggas be envious (who)
And I know why they hatin' on us (why)
Cause our style's so fabulous (what)
I'ma be real on us (c'mon)
Nobody got nuttin' on us (no)
Girls be all on us, from London back down to the US (s, s)
We rockin' it (contagious), monkey business (outrageous)
Just confess, your girl admits that we the shit
F-R-E-S-H we(fresh)
D-E-F, that's right we def (rock)
We definite B-E-P, we rappin' it
So, turn it up (turn it up) [3x]
C'mon baby, just
Pump it(louder) [6x]
And say, oh oh oh oh
Say, oh oh oh oh
(Yo yo)
Turn up the radio
Blast your stereo
Right now
This joint is fizzlin'
It's sizzlin'
Right
(Yo, check this out right here)
Dude wanna hate on us(dude)
Dude need'a ease on up(dude)
Dude wanna act on up
But dude get shut like flavor shut(shut down)
Chicks say, she ain't down
But chick backstage when we in town(ha)
She like man on drunk(fool)
She wanna hit n' run(errr)
Yeah, that's the speed
That's what we do
That's who we be
B-L-A-C-K -E-Y-E-D-P to the E, then the A to the S
When we play you shake your ass
(Shake it shake it) shake it girl
Make sure you don't break it, girl
(Cause we gonna)
Turn it up (turn it up) [3x]
C'mon baby, just
Pump it (louder) [6x]
And say, oh oh oh oh
Say, oh oh oh oh
(Yo yo)
Turn up the radio
Blast your stereo
Right now
This joint is fizzlin'
It's sizzlin'
Right
Damn(damn) [5x]
Wow
Apl. de ap. from Philippines
Live and direct rocking this scene
Breaking on down for the B-boys
And B-girls waiting to do their thing
Pump it, louder come on
Don't stop and keep it goin'
Do it lets get it on
Move it
Come on, baby, do it
La-da-di-da-da-di-dy
On the stere-ere-ereo
Let those speakers blow your mind
(Blow my mind, baby)
To let it go, let it go
Here we go
La-da-di-da-da-di-dy (c'mon, we're there)
On the rad-adi-adi-io
This systems got me feel so fi-ei-ei-eine
(Fine yea I'm fine are you?)
Pump it (louder) [6x]
And say, oh oh oh oh
Say, oh oh oh oh
(Yo, yo)
Turn up the radio
Blast your stereo
Right now
This joint is fizzlin'
It's sizzlin'
Right
MY HUMPS
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump
My hump, my hump my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)
I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna
Caring, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin' fly
Brother I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass in
Seven Jeans, True Religion,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't TAKEN
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating.
My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got you,
She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside yo trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm goin make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream,scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)
I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Let's spend time not money.
And mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa puff,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.
They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standin' next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
In the back and in the front (lumps)
My lovin' got you,
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump,
What you gon' do wit all that ass all that ass
Inside them jean's
i'm gonna make you scream make you scream make you scream
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump,
What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She's got me spendin'.
[oh]Spendin all your money on me and spendin' time on me
She's got me spendin'.
[oh]Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.
MAS QUE NADA
Oariá raiô
Obá Obá Obá
Oariá raiô
Obá Obá Obá
mas que nada
black eyed peas came in to make it hotter
we beat the party starters
bubblin up just like lava
like lava heat it like a sauna
penetrating into your body armor
rhythmically we message ya
with hip hop mixed up with samba
with samba so yes yes y`all
you know we never stop
we never rest y`all
the black eyed peas are keeping it funky fressh y`all
and we wont stop until we get you, til we get you sayin'
Oariá raiô
Obá Obá Obá
Oariá raiô
Obá Obá Obá
peter piper picked peppers but Tab rocked ryhmes
1,2,3 for several times
heavy rotation made by every kind
of radio stations blessing every mind
and we crossing boundaries like everyday
????????????????????????
we got we got tab magnification tab magnafied
like every day
so yes yes yall
you know we never stop we never rest y`all y`all
the black eyed peas are keeping it funky fressh y`all
and we wont stop until we get you, til we get you sayin
drop hot hot be my daily operation
got to put it work in this crazy occupation
gotta keep it movin' thats the motivation
gotta ride the waves and keep a tight relation
with my team keeping moving and doing it right
i've been in a lab every day til daylight
thats the way things move in this monkey business
we took a old samba song and remixed it
Mas que nada
Sai da minha frente
Eu quero passar
Pois o samba esta animado
O que eu quero e sambar
Este samba
Que e misto de maracatu
E samba de preto velho
Samba de preto tu
mas que nada, we gonna make you feel lil hotter
the peas and Sergio Mendes heating up sambaaaa
bada, bada, bada, baaaaaa
sergio play your piano sergio play your yo yo yo yo piano (echoing)
1,2,3,4...
[Chorus x2]
Lil' mama show me how you move it
go ahead put yo back into it
Do ya thang like there aint nothin to it
Shake..
sh..sh..shake that ass girl.
[Verse 1]
Go Go Go Go Fifty in the house, bounce, y'all already know what I'm about.
The flow sounds sick over Dre' drums nigga, I ain't
stupid I see Doc and my dough come quicker.
Whoa! Shorty' hips so hypnotic, she moves is so erotic, but watch
I'ma watch her bounce that ass girl.
I get it crunk in here, I make it jump in here, front in here, we'll thump in here. Oooohh.
I'm so gutter, so ghetto, so hood. So gully, so grimey, what's good?
Outside, the Benz on dubs
I'm in the club with the snub, don't start nothin', it won't be nothin'. Uuuhhh.
1,2,3,4
[Chorus x2]
Lil' mama show me how you move it
go ahead put yo back into it
Do ya thang like there aint nothin to it
Shake..
sh..sh.. shake that ass girl.
[Verse 2]
Let's party, everybody stand up.
Everybody put ya hands up.
Let's party, everybody bounce wit me.
Some champagne and burn a lil' greenery.
This hot. Disco Inferno, let's go. You are now rockin wit a pro.
I get told to flip dough to get more, fa sho'.
Get my drink on, then get on the dance flo'(floor).
Look homie I don't dance all i do is this.
It's the same 2 step wit a lil' twist.
Listen pimpin' I ain't new to this, I'm true to this.
Pay attention boy, I teach how to do this shit.
So you mix a lil' Cris with a lil' Dom Perignon.
And a lil' Hennessy, you know we finna carry on.
Hollerin' at these snakes in da club tryin' to get right,
we gonna be up in this bitch 'til we break daylight.
[Chorus x2]
Lil' mama show me how you move it
go ahead put yo back into it
Do ya thang like there aint nothin to it
Shake..
sh..sh..shake that ass girl.
[Verse 3]
You see me shinin' and lit up with diamonds cause I stay grindin'. uh-huh.
Homie you can catch me swoopin Bentley coupin',
switchin lanes. u see me rollin, you know I'm holdin,
I'm about my paper, yeah.
Nigga I'm serious, I ain't playin', I'll
embed it in ya brain, I'm off the chain.
G-Unit! Next level now, turn it up a notch.
Em and Dre sent me to tear up the spot.
Front on me, oh no, you know I'm loco.
Hands up on the dance floor, ok let's go!
[Chorus x2]
Lil' mama show me how you move it
go ahead put yo back into it
Do ya thang like there aint nothin to it
Shake..
sh..sh..shake that ass girl.
IN DA CLUB
Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shawty
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck
It's not your birthday!
[Chorus] (2x)
You can find me in the club, bottle full of bub
Look mami I got the X if you into taking drugs
I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love
So come give me a hug if you into to getting rubbed
[Verse]
When I pull out up front, you see the Benz on dubs
When I roll 20 deep, it's 20 knives in the club
Niggas heard I fuck with Dre, now they wanna show me love
When you sell like Eminem, and the hoes they wanna fuck
But homie ain't nothing change hold down, G's up
I see Xzibit in the Cutt that nigga roll that weed up
If you watch how I move you'll mistake me for a playa or pimp
Been hit wit a few shells but I dont walk wit a limp
In the hood then the ladies saying "50 you hot"
They like me, I want them to love me like they love 'Pac
But holla in New York them niggas'll tell ya im loco
And the plan is to put the rap game in a choke hold
I'm feelin' focused man, my money on my mind
I got a mill out the deal and I'm still on the grind
Now shawty said she feeling my style, she feeling my flow
Her girlfriend wanna get bi and they ready to go
[Chorus] (2x)
[Bridge]
My flow, my show brought me the doe
That bought me all my fancy things
My crib, my cars, my pools, my jewels
Look nigga I got K-Mart and I ain't change
[Verse]
And you should love it, way more then you hate it
Nigga you mad? I thought that you'd be happy I made it
I'm that cat by the bar toasting to the good life
You that faggot ass nigga trying to pull me back right?
When my junk get to pumpin in the club it's on
I wink my eye at ya bitch, if she smiles she gone
If the roof on fire, let the motherfucker burn
If you talking bout money homie, I ain't concerned
I'm a tell you what Banks told me cause go 'head switch the style up
If the niggas hate then let 'em hate
Watch the money pile up
Or we go upside there wit a bottle of bub
You know where we fucking be
[Chorus] (2x)
[Talking]
(laughing) Don't try to act like you ain't know where we been either nigga
In the club all the time nigga, its about to pop off nigga
G-Unit
CANDY SHOP
Yeah...
Uh huh
So seductive
[Chorus: 50 Cent & Olivia]
[50 Cent]
I take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollypop
Go 'head girl, don't you stop
Keep goin 'til you hit the spot (whoa)
[Olivia]
I'll take you to the candy shop
Boy one taste the wad I got
I'll have you spending all you got
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (whoa)
[Verse 1: 50 Cent]
You can have it your way, how do you want it
You gon' back that thing up or should i push up on it
Temperature rising, okay lets go to the next level
Dance floor jam packed, hot as a teakettle
I'll break it down for you now, baby it's simple
If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho
In the hotel or in the back of the rental
On the beach or in the park, it's whatever you into
Got the magic stick, I'm the love doctor
Have your friends teasin you 'bout how sprung I gotcha
Wanna show me how you work it baby, no problem
Get on top then get to bouncing round like a low rider
I'm a seasoned vet when it come to this shit
After you work up a sweat you can play with the stick
I'm tryin to explain baby the best way I can
I melt in your mouth girl, not in your hands (ha ha)
[Chorus]
[Bridge: 50 Cent & Olivia]
Girl what we do (what we do)
And where we do (and where we do)
The things we do (things we do)
Are just between me and you (oh yeah)
[Verse 2: 50 Cent]
Give it to me baby, nice and slow
Climb on top, ride like you in the rodeo
You ain't never heard a sound like this before
Cause I ain't never put it down like this
Soon as I come through the door she get to pullin on my zipper
It's like it's a race who can get undressed quicker
Isn't it ironic how erotic it is to watch em in thongs
Had me thinking 'bout that ass after I'm gone
I touch the right spot at the right time
Lights on or lights off, she like it from behind
So seductive, you should see the way she winds
Her hips in slow-mo on the floor when we grind
As Long as she ain't stoppin, homie I aint stoppin
Drippin wet with sweat man its on and popping
All my champagne campaign, bottle after bottle its on
And we gon' sip til every bubble in the bottle is gone
[Chorus 2x]
[Chorus: 50 Cent & Olivia]
[50 Cent]
I take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollypop
Go 'head girl, don't you stop
Keep goin 'til you hit the spot (whoa)
[Olivia]
I'll take you to the candy shop
Boy one taste of what I got
I'll have you spending all you got
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (whoa)
P.I.M.P
[Chorus]
I don't know what you heard about me
But a bitch can't get a dollar out of me
No Cadillac, no perms, you can't see
That I'm a motherfucking P-I-M-P
[Repeat]
[Verse 1]
Now shorty, she in the club, she dancing for dollars
She got a thing for that Gucci, that Fendi, that Prada
That BCBG, Burberry, Dolce and Gabana
She feed them foolish fantasies, they pay her cause they wanna
I spit a little G man, and my game got her
A hour later, have that ass up in the Ramada
Them trick niggas in her ear saying they think about her
I got the bitch by the bar trying to get a drink up out her
She like my style, she like my smile, she like the way I talk
She from the country, think she like me cause I'm from New York
I ain't that nigga trying to holla cause I want some head
I'm that nigga trying to holla cause I want some bread
I could care less how she perform when she in the bed
Bitch hit that track, catch a date, and come and pay the kid
Look baby this is simple, you can't see
You fucking with me, you fucking with a P-I-M-P
[Chorus]
[Verse 2]
I'm bout my money you see, girl you can holla at me
If you fucking with me, I'm a P-I-M-P
Not what you see on TV, no Cadillac, no greasy
Head full of hair, bitch I'm a P-I-M-P
Come get money with me, if you curious to see
how it feels to be with a P-I-M-P
Roll in the Benz with me, you could watch TV
From the backseat of my V, I'm a P-I-M-P
Girl we could pop some champagne and we could have a ball
We could toast to the good life, girl we could have it all
We could really splurge girl, and tear up the mall
If ever you needed someone, I'm the one you should call
I'll be there to pick you up, if ever you should fall
If you got problems, I can solve'em, they big or they small
That other nigga you be with ain't bout shit
I'm your friend, your father, and confidant, BITCH
[Chorus]
[Verse 3]
I told you fools before, I stay with the tools
I keep a Benz, some rims, and some jewels
I holla at a hoe til I got a bitch confused
She got on Payless, me I got on gator shoes
I'm shopping for chinchillas, in the summer they cheaper
Man this hoe you can have her, when I'm done I ain't gon keep her
Man, bitches come and go, every nigga pimpin know
You saying it's secret, but you ain't gotta keep it on the low
Bitch choose with me, I'll have you stripping in the street
Put my other hoes down, you get your ass beat
Now Nik my bottom bitch, she always come up with my bread
The last nigga she was with put stitches in her head
Get your hoe out of pocket, I'll put a charge on a bitch
Cause I need 4 TVs and AMGs for the six
Hoe make a pimp rich, I ain't paying bitch
Catch a date, suck a dick, shiiit, TRICK
[Chorus]
Yeah, in Hollywoood they say there's no b'ness like show b'ness
In the hood they say, there's no b'ness like hoe b'ness ya know
They say I talk a lil fast, but if you listen a lil faster
I ain't got to slow down for you to catch up, BITCH
